Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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