I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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