rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
