i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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