Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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