HIV tests are more positive than that guy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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