I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
