what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize