i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
