I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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