His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
