I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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