Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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