i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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