I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
