We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Farmville is her only friend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
