Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
