I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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