He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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