Define "chronic" masturbator.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
