Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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