You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
