She went from zero to smokin in five shots
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
