So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
