i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize