My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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