i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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