Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
