yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
