i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
