Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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