what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
