I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
