He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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