I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
