He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
