shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
