I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
