you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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