Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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