Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
