So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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