Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
