You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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