I'm jealous of your bromance
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
