So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
