What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
