i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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