"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
my liver is dry heaving
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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