You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
